Saturday, July 23, 2011

Stories

It rained in Auschwitz that day. A fitting tribute- tears from Mother Nature for a land already saturated with grief, loss, despair, and death. Sometimes a rainstorm is just a rainstorm, but it's impossible to ignore the meaning, the symbolism in everyday things when viewed through the lens of the Holocaust.

I've hesitated to try to describe my visit to Auschwitz. Even the word "visit" seems insincere. We visit neighbors, family, friends. We visit zoos, hospitals, parks. We visit when we chat, gossip, connect with other people. It's a word that conjures positive associations- not the reality of time spent in the acres that witnessed unprecedented human misery, suffering, murder.
Somehow any words I could use to describe the camp would be weak and insufficient. How could mere words possibly capture the vast weight and silence that blanket the land and buildings? 

So I won't try.

It's all about the stories anyway. I used to hear the numbers- six million, eleven million- and shake my head with sorrow over those lost voices, lost stories. Now, though, I know those numbers are merely starting points. For every person who died the most sorrowful of deaths there is another person who survived- and that person has a story too. What of the children of Holocaust survivors? Their stories of childhood shaped by loss, fear, and uncertainty must be counted. What of the stories of all the friends, acquaintances, lovers whose lives were touched, however briefly, by the people who survived, died, or were affected by the Holocaust?  Shouldn't their stories count too? 

One of our tour guides made a statement that I can't forget. Six million people weren't murdered in the Holocaust. One person was murdered, and it happened six million times. Voices are not statistics, and remembrance is about individuals, not numbers.

 

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Belzec

Belzec is horrifying in its stark beauty. A landscape where nearly half a million people were murdered should not be peaceful, lovely. The juxtaposition of beauty and death is perhaps what makes the memorial there as striking and powerful as it is. Acres of black rock cover the hillside as it slopes toward forest, marred only by the long path cut through the center of the hill that leads to a place of remembrance. The staircases that surround it are lined with the names of towns from which the transports originated and the victims lived their brief lives. 

On the wall leading to the memorial are metal letters with this statement-

This is the site of the murder
Of about 500,000 victims
Of the Belzec death camp
Established for the purpose of killing
The Jews of Europe, whose lives were brutally taken
Between February and December 1942
By Nazi Germany

Earth do not cover my blood
Let there be no resting
Place for my outcry!

Job 16:18

The metal has rusted and orange streaks falls from the words as if they are crying. Perhaps they are. One more testament to the acts of horror humans are capable of waging on one another.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Majdanek

Majdanek

The path toward Majdanek is filled with scenes from a painting you might find in the waiting room of an office in which you have something to fear-pastoral fields, grazing cows, handmade fences- designed to calm your nerves before you face the grim look in the doctor's eyes as he delivers the news that will divide your life into before and after.

How appropriate.

Majdanek is the only death camp that was intact when liberated by Allied forces.  The Nazis knew the Russian forces would arrive soon, but they underestimated the speed at which they were moving. There was time to destroy documents, but the guard towers, barbed-wire fences, barracks, gas chambers, and crematorium remained to testify to the horrors suffered by thousands upon thousands of both those who lived and those who were murdered there.

Really, the shoes say it all. 

Column after column of mesh cages hold countless pairs of shoes. Shoes belonging to men, women, children. Sturdy boots, dancing shoes, tiny sandals- all now nearly the same shade of gray that signifies the number of years passed since their owners danced in the rain, held hands, gossiped, worshiped, loved, hoped, wept, lived. Each pair belonged to a face, a name, a person. Now, simply another anonymous testimony. 

One shoe caught my eye- a red sandal that looks a little something like a pair I owned once.  I'll never know the name of the woman who wore it. But I also know I'll never forget her.          

Saturday, July 16, 2011

German Remembrance

I have been to Berlin before, but it was a long time ago. A time when I was too young, too inexperienced, too full of midwestern naïveté to see the echoes of history that lurked among the glass and steel. Then, my eyes were wide with the profound differentness of it, and I confess to spending more time worrying about what was happening at home than breathing in the moments that were happening there.  

I viewed the city with different eyes this time, although I believe that Berlin has also, in many ways, become a different city as well.

Every year students ask me what Germans think about the Holocaust today, but I never have an answer for them. I knew only what I knew- which wasn't much. I recalled being moved to tears at a small museum near Brandenburg Gate filled with pictures drawn and painted by the children of Theresienstadt- children who were likely already orphaned as they waited (please, God, unknowingly) for their own cattle car ride toward ash and smoke. I dimly recall a memorial or two, but my visit then wasn't marked by Holocaust remembrance, and my long term memory simply didn't note anything else.

This year when the inevitable question is asked, I will have an answer. Germany has chosen to embrace their history, sorrow and all, rather than relegate it to a place where people can only whisper about it behind palms cupped to hold the words close to their source.

Today in the very center of Berlin, just a block or so away from the site of Hitler's final bunker, holds the Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe. A sea of gray stiles, row upon row, stretches away from the eye- an unmistakable reminder. The Jewish Museum resides down the street- a testament to the history and culture of the Jewish population that was virtually decimated under Nazi reign. Memorials and plaques are around corner after corner after corner- proof that Germans, too, have a stake in owning and preserving the history- however heartbreaking- of all the people who called Germany home.    

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Bergen Belsen

Bergen Belsen concentration camp was the first site authentic to the Holocaust my group visited.  The grounds are quite lovely- wooded, quiet, miles from the nearest community. If one wasn't aware of the history of the place it would seem an innocuous, peaceful area for a nice nature walk. In part, this is because of the decision not to rebuild the structures that were destroyed by the British in order to wipe out disease upon the liberation of the camp.

The museum was built directly adjacent to the camp footprint.  A large balcony, however, hovers over the Bergen Belsen grounds without touching the earth. In the tradition of their culture it is unacceptable to build on a Jewish cemetery, and so the sanctity of the site is being preserved in order to honor the thousands upon thousands of both of known and nameless victims buried in mass graves there.

Knowing the horrendous events of the camp doesn't prepare a person for the first glimpse of the mass graves. Each one is surrounded by a low stone wall- a retaining wall, of sorts- with a stone marker simply indicating the approximate numbers of bodies buried there. "Hier ruhen 2500 Toten" or "Hier ruhen 5000 Toten." The hush holds a different weight- a different silence- than other cemeteries, for this one contains only the graves, unmarked by personal information, of murder victims.  No one who died in peace surrounded by the people who love them rest there. Only those whose last moments were fear, pain, loss.

The camp is not only symbolic of devastation, however. I learned that it also served as a camp for displaced Jews after the war. Then, it was a place of life rather than death. A place of celebration- weddings were performed and consummated. Babies were born (over a thousand of them!. Hopes were realized. Plans were made. Lives were rebuilt.

As I was having my own moment of silence in front of the symbolic markers placed in the cemetery by the families of some of the victims, a butterfly landed on my backpack. She stayed there for several minutes as I composed myself, and then fluttered away...maybe to comfort another person who needed a simple moment of beauty. She was a good reminder that life, after all, has a way of moving forward, of continuing on, of persevering- even in the most impossible of circumstances.  
     

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Musings from Israel

My last day in Israel today. I have been woefully remiss in updating my blog, but perhaps you'll forgive my fragmented thoughts.

Jerusalem was so much more than I expected. The city is architecturally fascinating, with the low modern brick buildings interspersed with an occasional building that dates back to who knows when. The city itself is busy, busy, busy- except on Shabbat when it folds into itself like origami. Then, the stillness is absolute. Even the elevator runs in a continual loop, stopping at every floor to spare riders the work of having to push the button. When Shabbat ends, however, it fills with energy- life fairly exploding from the streets which were silent only moments before. It's like an impromptu party to which no one was invited, but everyone spontaneously arrives at the same time anyway.

Old Jerusalem is a wonderful, mysterious, chaotic maze. Cobblestone streets and alleys filled with people, cars, and vendors vocally celebrating the wares they sell. The shop roofs nearly meet overhead, blocking the sun and adding to the sense of drama...and claustrophobia. Toys, scarves, jewelry, bras, carvings, trinkets, and nearly everything else are carefully arranged to attract the attention of passersby. The historical significance of the sites there is truly too big for me to comprehend just yet. I need some time and space to mull it over- the Wailing Wall, King Herod's castle, the site of the Last Supper, King David's tomb. Walking through the same streets as those ancient heroes and villains it is impossible not to feel the weight of human history.

That weight continues south toward the Dead Sea. The Beaudoin communities lining the highway are a visible reminder that for some, life hasn't changed much in the past two thousand years or so. Masada rises out of the landscape of the Judean desert- its plateau an easy clue that it is not simply another mountain. The outline of the Roman siege walls are still visible from the roof, and the mind turns toward what those last hours of life must have been for the thousand Jews seeking refuge there- ultimately choosing death over capture and enslavement. Then, it was a place of choiceless choices and death. Now it holds a gift shop and cable cars. The juxtaposition of modern life versus ancient history.

The Dead Sea area holds all the trappings of resort life. The McDonald's arches visible from the shore seem at odds with the ancient lands- as it absolutely is. The water itself so buoyant it is impossible to sink- the salt leaving an oily sheen on the surface of the water and a sharp sting on any small cuts on the skin. The site of the Dead Sea Scrolls now holding giggling tourists, beach umbrellas, and cocktails.

More than anything else, the city of Jerusalem and the country of Israel are profound reminders of the absolute determination of life to continue to move forward and march on. Its more current history as a safe harbor for persecuted Jews only continues the tradition of the lands on which people have lived full, bountiful lives of meaning and hope. I am profoundly grateful for my opportunity to enjoy its history and people- however briefly.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Jerusalem

Like many Minnesotans (I assume) my view of Israel has been shaped by the evening news, in which stories of civilians blown up while enjoying a morning cup of coffee in a picturesque cafe share time with stories of bus loads of tourists and children who won't make it home that evening, and instead are scattered in pieces throughout the streets while old women and mothers are keening and wailing in the background. My view was one of fear, danger, threat.

As my flight neared the city of Jerusalen, I watched eagerly for a glimpse of this mysterious, ancient land. Flying over the Tel Aviv I saw a landscape with all the familiar objects I somehow didn't expect to see. Cars snaking along black highways. A sports stadium. Azure swimming pools dotting backyards. Farm land. The hallmarks of life.

How many times have I told my students that different is just different- not wrong? That people throughout the world all have the same hopes, dreams, ideals beating in their hearts. That where we are born is accident of fate, and that people are all the same-everywhere.

This, maybe, is the greatest lesson I will take with me when I leave this beautiful country- because now I feel those words in a new, different way.

There is a pulse here. The city throbs and thrums as if a heartbeat, with vibrant, beautiful, friendly people who are living their lives exactly as those I love are living their lives at home.

Maybe each place I visit on this journey will leave a little imprint on my soul. Never again will I watch one of those stories on the news and murmur a platitude before I promptly forget and go back to my dinner. Here, I feel a part of the story of human history.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Power of Language

One thing has always bothered me about that old sing-song rhyme we all remember from childhood.  You know the one- Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.

I'd take a broken bone over being called an unkind name any day.  Words have exponetially more power than mere physical weapons that can only leave scars on our skin.  Words can leave scars on our soul.

I was reminded of this yesterday, and again today, as I wandered through the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington D.C. The past few years the trendy slur being used among many middle school students is "Jew."  The word, in and of itself, is not offensive- it's merely a descriptor.  But much like the word "gay" it has been turned, by adolescent minds who cannot possibly comprehend the vast horror and history behind the use of the word as a slur, into something ugly.  I assume that most students simply don't understand why it is a such a big deal- based on the blank looks on their faces when I ask them why they would use such a word as an insult.  My mission has become to teach students, as a group and sometimes individually, why words have weight, meaning, and power, and as such every human being has a responsibility to select language and words that don't denigrate entire populations. The word Jew is not an insult.

Yesterday during a group discussion after our tour of the museum the conversation turned toward the word "Holocaust" and how it applies only to the Jewish victims- not to any of the other groups persecuted during the same time frame.  The Roma population, homosexuals, political dissidents, the mentally and physically handicapped (among others) undoubtedly suffered during the time frame we tend to refer to as the Holocaust.  But the Final Solution of the Nazi government was not designed to eradicate these groups from Europe- its solitary purpose was the absolute genocide of Jews.  It is not appropriate, then, to refer to non-Jews as victims of the Holocaust, but instead as victims of Nazi policies.  This doesn't minimize the suffering of those individuals, it simply applies a more accurate historical context for the situation under which they were persecuted. 

I admit it took me a moment of thought to comprehend the argument for this verbal shift.  Words have power- they shape and give voice to every thought, idea, emotion, and opinion we have as human beings.  A word like Holocaust simply belongs to the Jews- at least as it relates to World War II.

I really thought I knew a lot about the Holocaust.  I have read, researched, and studied it in multiple ways.  I'm quite sure, however, that the past few days have taught me how little I really know.  If I have already gained so much knowledge- in only three days!- I can't imagine how much the next eighteen days will have to teach me.  The museum is beautiful, moving, horrifying.  The authentic sites I will visit will undoubtedly have a power beyond my imaginings. 

Flight to Israel leaves in five hours.  Deep breath...

Friday, July 1, 2011

Leaving

Leaving.  A weighted word- one rarely considered in a positive light.  I however, have spent much time in the past months preparing to leave for this amazing trip, life experience, growth opportunity.  Leaving will allow me to see and experience parts of the world I never really believed would be a part of my individual journey. I am humbled and thankful to be given this chance for travel and learning and collegiality- and I can't do it without leaving.

At this moment, however, I'm just a mom about to leave her kids.  My girls- keepers of my heart- will, for three weeks, rely on someone else to tuck them in, kiss them goodnight, join them in laughter, tears, and everything else. They'll be perfectly fine, of course, but I already feel the loss of those moments, and I haven't even left yet.

My hope is that they absorb, somewhere in their growing psyches, that "mom" doesn't have to be a solitary noun. That one day in the future, when they have chosen their paths and their lives seem laid out in front of them, that adventure can be just around the corner if they are willing to look hard enough.  That it's okay to be a mom second sometimes, because the teacher, woman, person parts of them are important too, and require occasional maintenance to stay strong and healthy.  That leaving doesn't have to be a bad thing. 

Twenty-two days.  Eight flights.  Eleven hotels.  Three countries. 

I leave in the morning. 

Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Beginning

"Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow mindedness." -Mark Twain

I have been tossing around the idea of starting a blog for quite some time.  (Is that how nearly every new blog begins?)  Finding my theme, my voice, my writing vision- however- proved to be a more complex task than I had anticipated. So, like many other lost (or postponed!) opportunities, instead of starting a blog I just thought about starting a blog.

Life has handed me an impetus. 

As I begin to prepare for this grand opportunity for travel (definitely), learning (certainly), friendship (hopefully), and experience (undoubtedly), chronicling my journey has become somewhat of a calling. I have been given this gift of a chance, and want to ensure that I absorb every meaningful moment.  What better medium to use than the written word?  After all, my life has been spent in the study, teaching and enjoyment of words.

Two weeks from today I leave my family and fly to the first of many destinations.  I will live outside my comfort zone for three weeks to study the greatest humanitarian tragedy the world has ever seen- the Holocaust.  Washington D.C.  Israel. Germany. Poland. The end result? A better teacher, mother, human being.

I can't wait.